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I have told my kids for year’s. That I have a serious health issue.

I have what is called ” Reverse Age syndrome.” The older my kids get, the younger  I become.

     Been Taken care of my self since I was thirteen and I am now 43. All of my kids are out of the house ages, 25, 23, an 20. I have told them for years. Please don’t ever try any drug, alcohol, or Tobacco. As they come from highly addictive personality type parents. Both  of my dads are drunks, for years I did meth.  I would explain, That they would find a drug and they would like it. Maybe not the first one. as in my case. I was a drunk by the time i was 6. Daddy’s little girl always getting him a beer and of course i had to take a drink. after a few years, my dads beer  would be half empty by  the time I gave it to him. Than I enjoyed coke, snorting it, smoking, it to slamming it in my arm. I was 16. My day had seen my wake up call. and he took my ass to Montana. I slept the whole way there and I have not slammed a needle in my arm since. Good thing to. Up next my personal Favorite,  Meth! Back when it was GOOD. I did Meth for  about 20 year’s, and the only time I did not do it was 3 different, 9 month occasions.Than I found the second best favorite. pot!  I was honest about why they should not try these life altering choices, nor should they in having kids.

I would say to them, whatever their krypton would be, it will consume them. drugs , alcohol, gambling, kids. I am very lucky. all three have listens to me, and did not follow in my foot steps. I wanted them all to graduate high school, all have gone to college. no drugs, no kids, my girls Stayed virgins till my middle daughter was 19 and my youngest if she hasn’t in the past week, will be going down real soon.

This has come at a price though, my son hasn’t talked to me in 2 years. I should have made better choices, different lifestyle choices. Maybe I would have, if I had his mom. I am okay with that though. I rather know my kid is doing good and not talking tome , than being fucked up in jail and not talking to me.

Anyway the older my kids become the younger i am behaving. This time I am not fucked up high on drugs or have kids that i am reasonable for. Instead I am trying to figure out who I am, what do I want to do with the next 40 years or so. I do know it is not working at a job i hate or sitting around pretending” Your vote counts” for Americas next new mascot.

Or it is okay for a woman to breast feed in public. no it is not! Cover that shit up. I also do not care for meaningless chit chat. I sure the hell do not care what is on tv. But give me an xbox and I will be shooting a mother fucker. 

My true calling though is being a nature loving explorer taking Pictures and making calendars, who wants to travel around in her van and doing tarot reading, making chain maile jewelry and wind chimes. With a laptop and tablet repair shop. 

To be young again with awesome dreams.

 

 

 

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The new year

As the new year is approaching I am looking back at how much I have changed and grown. I simply do not believe in making resolutions for the new year. I think just make the changes you need to throughout the year. Do not be afraid to make changes. I know for me in this past year the biggest change was made for me. I am glad though that it did happen because this time last year I was not happy, I was actually mad and upset most of the time which led to being depressed for a minute. my life is not what I want but it is defiantly on the right track. I am happy right now even though my husband and I are miles apart and I miss him so much. This separation has brought us closer together and stronger as a couple. That says a lot because we were both ready to just walk away from each other. I have walked away from several toxic people though that were just keeping me down.

I also know that when things go wrong and falls apart it is sometimes for the best. So instead of going why me, why does the world hate me, which I was doing for several months, I said bring it do your best to knock me down.  It did bring its best shots at me and I am still here standing and smiling. It made me a stronger person that knows I can survive anything.

Being grateful

I am so grateful today. I am in a warm place. A complete stranger took me in. I am also grateful for my husband even though we are not together right now physically. He gets me and that my friends says alot. I am grateful for all three of my kids, even if one is mad at me and wont talk to me. I am grateful that I am almost done with school. I am grateful for this day where I will get to spend it with my daghters and make sure i have taught them on how we do today, because I do not know when the next thanksgiving we will get to be toghter as our lifes journey will be taking us down very different roads. I hope everyone has a full tummy and fuller hearts today!

Homelessness

So I am currently living out of my car. With my 2 cats. Yes, it does suck, but I have come to being okay with it for the most part. The only major issue I have is my car is a p.o.s. I am thankful that I do have this car cause it would really suck if I didn’t have it. I am still trying to finish my degree, it has been so hard. I figure though once I get my degree I can obtain  a job that will get me out of this current situation that I am in. I miss my husband  and can’t wait for us to be reunited. I do believe that this will make us a stronger couple. I do not know why I have to do this all alone but I am sure in the end I will. Stay warm!

Dream catchers

One of the things I like to make are Dream catchers. I am trying to come up with unique ones, I think I have on a couple of them. I want to start to sell them so here are pictures of the ones I have finished and of course I can custom make them for you. Also here are some examples of chain mail jewelry I can do.I would love to hear from you if you are interested in buying. Also would love to hear any feed back.???????????????????????????????warringsIMG_0784

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this is so not right!

Food Freedom

By Farm Food Freedom Coalition and WAPF

February 24, 2012–Baraboo, WI—Food sovereignty activists from around North America will meet at this tiny town on March 2, 2012 to support Wisconsin dairy farmer Vernon Hershberger and food sovereignty. Hershberger, who has a court hearing that day, is charged with four criminal misdemeanors that could land him in prison for three years with fines of over $10,000. The Wisconsin Department of Agricultural Trade and Consumer Protection (DATCP) targeted Hershberger for supplying a private buying club with fresh milk and other farm products.

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Rural Spin

Color me optimistic, but I’m calling “spring on its way.” If someone tells me it’s still winter, I’ll call them a stinkin’ liar. It’s spring and this means it’s time to start seeds in preparation for the growing season. It comes quicker than you think!

But along with being optimistic, I am also not rich enough to buy those pre-packaged seed starting kits I’ve seen in the store. I’d rather spend my money on other things like a really nice microbrew once in awhile. I also have a small house (about 800 sf total) and not much room to construct the seed-starting nursery to rival the Colosseum that I’ve seen other people manage. So my seed starting set up has to be cheap, productive, and take up little space.

Luckily, I met all of my criteria for a total cost of about $20 (not counting the cost of seeds). And over half of…

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I want to go to some of these places, Don’t you?